And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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