i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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