She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
