i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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