I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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