the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
