Soap is not a condiment
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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