Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
