Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Those nachos came to me in a dream
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
