There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
