so explain again why im purple
no
one two three fourrrrnication!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize