Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
