This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
