"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
