I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
