I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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