good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
