we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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