now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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