were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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