did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
