I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
