I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
