He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
