She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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