i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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