...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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