you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
