i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
