I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
