i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
