just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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