If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
