Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
