HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
