Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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