so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
