I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
