I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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