Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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