I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
