Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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