Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
