Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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