Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
