nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
