he puts the penis in happiness.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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