I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
