Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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