State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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