yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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