Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
