yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
