oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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