I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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