Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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