just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
