My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
