Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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