planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
