Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize