you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
