I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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